Great Friends

I have great friends! Today, I was a little upset over this incident with my grandma and my girl J totally had my back.

My friend M dealt with e-mails like this:

Me: I love us!

M: I love us too. Stop thinking about He Who Shall Not Be Named. There are so many better people out there for you.

Me: I just can't stop thinking about how our great our [edited for work] was, which he is now doing with his new girlfriend I like to call Cindy, and which I often think about while I am [edited for work] except Cindy is so not in what I am picturing!

The girl just gets me. Those edits for work are sex and masterbating, since I can tell you all now because I'm not on my work e-mail.

Even though Attached has a girlfriend, he is still very much there for me and I appreciate it so much!

Comic called me today and said, "I woke up so upset today." Of course I ask why? He says, "I just can not believe that this girl I went to high school with is on that new show on MTV, The City. I mean, can you believe it?"

And he seriously says stuff like this all the time. It makes me smile and I just feel genuinely lucky to have him as my friend. See why I call him Comic? :)

On a total sad and terrible note, how depressing is it that I have not been kissed all of 2009? I like to have sex every day in January, because as long as you do it, you can say you have had sex all year long. Now, I can say I haven't had sex this whole entire year. What the hell? I mean I know we're being anonymous, but I don't think I'm an ugly chick. Look, I'm not God's gift either by any means, but I don't think I should have already gone 6 days with no sex. Doesn't that seem like an eternity? I also haven't had any liquor in 6 days. Maybe I should just become a nun. It seems I'm well on my way!

Jealousy

Of all the emotions I have ever felt, probably jealousy is the worst. And what better way to try and get over it, then by blogging about it? First of all, a girl I went to school with is on the show The City. She is living in New York as a model, so obvioulsy jealousy there, but she is also on this show that I think is pretty cool (Judge me all you want) Her name is Allie. Thankfully, her boyfriend in the show ends up being a pretty bad guy (see cheating whore), which makes me feel a little better. I mean she may be beautiful and living in the coolest place, but her love life is more messed up than mine!

Then there is another girl I went to school with who has the exact job I want, except she is doing it in our lovely city, without ever having to move to some small town to get experience yada, yada, yada. I can't help but be jealous. I try to think eventually I'll make more money than her or it won't last for her, but that doesn't stop the jealousy.

Not to mention the people who have those relationships that make you jealous. I am trying to come to terms with my jealousy, but it is so hard! I feel like the more I try and get over it, the more I think about it. I try to be honest with my emotions, because you aren't getting anywhere if you lie to other people and yourself, but jealousy is the one emotion you can't just get over. Because it makes you look at yourself and what's important and why do some people seem to have it all, while others are working their butts off to get there?

I'm over my jealousy rant. Deep breaths, deep breaths! Competition and I had a cute text message conversation about him not getting my message on New Year's Eve so we could hook up. He said his phone died, and I told him that he is only available on his terms and I don't like that. He said that he is hard to catch, but when you do get him he's 100 %. I said I would cut off all the guys from 2008, but there is something about him. He really is charming. He claims he is a triple threat: charming, good looking and funny. But he hasn't called me since last Thursday. What gives?

2009 here I come or cum...hopefully both!

Miss Fabulous did a great post about her men from 2008 and saying goodbye to them, and I want to do the same thing. Miss Fabulous if you're reading, I love your blog but everytime I try to comment on it, it won't let me! The same is true for Spencer Wildwood's blog, but please know I am reading and appreciating!

So to the following men from 2008, I am going to try not to ever think about you, move on from you, realize I deserve better and say my piece right here!

He Who Shall Not Be Named: Everything reminds me of you. I wish it didn't. You broke my heart, but I will never tell you that. I try and think you have issues, but maybe I am the one with issues. I didn't e-mail you for your birthday because I want you to be the one who last made contact. If you really wanted to keep in touch, you could easily find me online. And I also hate that you never had the balls to try and have anal sex with me even though I know you wanted to. Good-bye. I have wasted too much of my life thinking about you.

Mac: You are such an asshole. I'm glad I fucked your friend.

Model: You are smoking hot and I plan on staying in contact with you while you're deployed, but only as friends. I hope one day you stop being a man whore so we can have beautiful babies, because we would. We're both tall, thin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. Hitler would be so proud.

Co-worker: I'm not sorry that I told you're girlfriend we were fucking. You are a snake. I can't believe you thought your game was so good that I would fuck you before work, while your girlfriend was on her way to visit you. You are such a manipulator and everyone sees that except your girlfriend. You are not the man you try to pretend you are.

Competition: I don't know how, but I think I like you more than you like me. Which is weird, because I know I am way cuter than you. I'm deleting your number so you won't get any crazy text messages from me ever again.

I'm sure there are a few other honorable mentions, but these are the only ones that stick out at the moment.

Here's the Co-worker story as brief as possible. Co-worker called during the holidays saying he missed me, let's have phone sex, all the things he wants to do to me. He's driving home on Monday and wants me to come over before he goes to work. I don't intend on having sex with him at all, but I like to tease him. I ask if we can do it after the show. He says no because he has work things he needs to do and will be out late. He never says this. No matter how late it is he always wants me to come over. I get the feeling girlfriend is coming to town. So after the show, I send him a text message about 45 minutes after work is over saying I'm on my way over. He calls me about 5 minutes later saying his girlfriend SURPRISED him for New Years blah blah blah. He swears he isn't a liar, but I point out that his girlfriend has no idea he's talking to me.

The next night we all go out. I see her. I say we need to talk. I pull her outside. Co-worker is looking nervous, but he's a manipulator so he probably thinks he can get his way out of it. I tell her I know we haven't been the best of friends and she starts going off on me about flirting with Co-worker! I'm thinking choose your battles girl, because I didn't just flirt. So I told her everything I could before she walked away from me to find him.

Last I heard she was still in town with him. Why do girls do that? He's not a good man. He cheated on her. He has plans to get back with his ex-girlfriend. She deserves so much better. I never want to be like that. And who knows what he told her about me! So there's the drama. Hopefully less drama next year. A psychic came to work yesterday and predicted I will be in a relationship in 4 months. She also said I may never have kids and won't get married until I'm 30. Oh, and I have 2 long term relationships before I get married. But who knows if you can believe that stuff! Happy New Year. Thank you for reading :)

Famously Single did NOT get laid last night...what am I a chuch girl?

Last night Competition was a no show. Shouldn't men be all over a girl who wants to have sex all the time?

I have a lot of guy friends, mainly because they can talk to me about anything and because I like sex just as often as they do. I had no idea other girls did not feel this way. A marriage with no sex will never exist for me. It's too important, among other reasons I was committed to not being a virgin when I get married. Anyway, I was talking with one of my best guy friends and I was telling him my crazy stories and he said, "How are you single?"

Which brought me to an amazing realization. I am way more ready to get in the sheets, than get in a relationship. For some reason, this does not seem healthy. But I want amazing, and when it comes to a relationship, I want it all. Probably the main thing I miss is doing those little thoughtful things for your significant other. My mom always had cards under our pillows or would put little notes in the pocket of our pants. She is an incredibly thoughtful woman and I hope to be a wife like her when I grow up. Her and my step-dad have also been to a masterbating party in San Francisco so you can see where I get my sexual drive. I'll never forget being 13 and my mom telling me that sometimes sex gets boring, so if your husband asks you to do something, be a yes girl. Say yes!


I think the only reason I started thinking about this is because He Who Shall Not Be Named's birthday is tomorrow. When he left to check out the place he wanted to move to, I put a note in his luggage, so while he was there, he would know I cared about him. I wish I had more of an opportunity to do things like that for him, but we all know that wasn't the case. It doesn't matter anyway because he never got to experience the real uninhibited me and we only had sex in our beds. I'm sure that's reason enough not to miss him.


I'm sending an e-mail tomorrow for his birthday. That is it. My heart says it's the right thing to do. There are several times a month I want to just be with him, move to be with him, give up my career. And then I realize how ridiculous this is. And then I wish I was never on that story, that I would have never met him, and my heart would still be in one piece. Because once your heart is broken, I think you're terrified it could happen again. How I feel right now, I hope to not ever feel again.

And now New Year's Eve is fast approaching and I want 2009 to be amazing! And I'm also wondering will Competition or Co-worker be my NYE kiss? Or maybe someone new? Ahh...the excitement! Plus, Attached and his girlfriend are planning on spending NYE with me and my friends too. Seriously I say excitement, but maybe drama? 3 more days to find out!

Attraction

What causes us to be attracted to certain people?

Competition and I allegedly had sex last night. I only know because he told me this morning, but otherwise I have no recollection of that! I also allegedly called him by a different name. Score one for Famously Single! Can I at least keep my men straight? I don't know what it is about Competition, but he's super funny and I'm almost drawn to him. He is charismatic. He calls it his "charm" and that makes him cute to me.

I think I have a thing for people's boyfriends. I have always been the girl that my friends feel uncomfortable hanging out with their boyfriends alone. I don't know why. I see men who are attached as safe and I can just be myself, expecially when I'm friends with their girlfriends. The other day, a co-workers boyfriend who we'll call Attached and I were going to go out for drinks. The co-worker is out of town so Attached is lonely. When he first e-mailed me about it, I swear I thought he had other friends here who he was intending on seeing and staying at their house. But when I realized it would be just me and him, I started thinking about him staying at my house and then I really badly wanted to fuck him. Some drunk text messages later, he pretty much knew what was up and declined.

I know right? Stand up guy because he didn't want to do that to his girlfriend. Even though, I knew it would be our little secret. Why am I attracted to him? I don't know. He's cute, but I know he's attached. But we've become pretty good friends over the whole ordeal and to avoid the rejection, I'm just going to tell myself that he knows he can't sleep with me because he'll want it BAD.

Have you ever had anyone you are attracted to, but don't know why? And why is one person cute to someone, but ugly to another?

Making out involves blow jobs and other rules you need to know

Funniest conversation last night with my male roommates about how everybody knows making out involves a blow jobs. The two guys said hand jobs and making out go hand in hand, but my rule is, guys can rub one out but they can't suck their own dick. Enter me.

Which goes along with my last post because me and Competition made out. You get what I'm saying right? I feel the only thing I need to say is we made out and you should just know that I sucked him off. Last night at the bar, my friend said that Competition told her boyfriend about us "making out" I never denied that I gave him a blow job, but I didn't confirm it either. I text him saying way to kiss and tell but he assumed I was going to tell my friend everything, which I obviously did because I said we made out. Shouldn't she just know?

This resulted in many more text messages about how horny I was and wanted to get together with him. I think I need to turn my phone off when I get drunk!

The Pink Bathrobe

I have come to the realization that almost every man who sleeps in my room at one point wears my pink bathrobe. It's from Victoria's Secret and fits most very tight. You know, they have to get up to use the restroom, so rather than put their clothes on, they put on the robe.

I am trying so hard to remember the name of this book I read, a compilation of short stories, where the author talks about how guys she dated brought her my little ponies based on something she always says. I guess my pink bathrobe is sort of like that. Do you have something like that?

I brought home the Competition last night. On Friday night I went out and met up with some co-workers, along with a guy who works for a competing place. He got wasted and as they were dropping me off at my car, he said, "Let's go have sex." I, of course, said no and asked if that line really works? But ever since he said that, I sort of thought about it.

Then, randomly last night, I was out with a friend, who apparently knows Competition, and we hung out. And when I went to go to my car, he came too. There's something about him. He is cute, but his personality makes him cuter, and I guess we have sexual tension from times we have hung out before. I didn't have sex with him, as much as he begged me too. We just made out and this morning I dropped him off at his house. I called my friend to tell her, before her boyfriend could tell her how I was making out with him in the back of the car and she seemed almost disgusted. This can not be a good sign.

And I just got a text message from a guy who used to be a model with a seriously beautiful body, but typical model with not much upstairs. He's being deployed and he wants my e-mail address so we can stay in contact. Or because he wants me to send him dirty e-mails. Probably the latter :)

So there's my weekend. Planning on seeing 7 Pounds tomorrow...can't wait. Happy Hanukahh!

Are we letting men off easy with text messaging?

Last night, I went out with a female co-worker after work. I swore I wasn't going to drink until New Year's Eve, but you know what, I don't care. You're only young once, and besides, I wasn't planning on getting drunk. While we were out at the bar, I got a text message from down syndrome council member about going to breakfast. We must have text messaged back and forth about 20 times before firming up plans for lunch instead of breakfast. I happened to be out at a bar and couldn't really talk.

Actually, that's a lie. I could have gone outside to talk to him, but I had just met this nice guy who is a US Marshall, so I was chatting with him a little bit. I like text messaging, don't get me wrong. It's just talking on the phone is so much easier. I like getting that random text message that brightens my day, makes me smile, feel cared about. But if we are trying to discuss plans or someone really wants to get to know me, I appreciate the phone call. Better yet, I like the phone call that says I was just thinking about you, I want to see you. I'd much rather be talking in person if I have the opportunity.

Has technology made us socially awkward? Is it that much easier to use Facebook, Myspace, text messaging to communicate? Are we relying on being able to review what we say before we say it, because that is impossible to do when communicating on the phone or in person? We can script what we want to say, because that calms our nerves a little. I worry for the generations after us.

The US Marshall said something about having a hard time meeting people. I completly disagree. If I see people I think look interesting (ahem...hot guys) I have no problem going up to them and talking to them. I have the ability to still use the technology to communicate, yet I don't rely on it. I'm concerned for the people who feel the need to rely on it.

My friend wants to go to rehab and other things that happen when you drink with me

Ok, so after work on Sunday I drove to Comic's house in beautiful San Diego, or so I thought, because I got snowed in on Wednesday and ended up staying another night. Anyway, Sunday night there was no drinking because I got there at like midnight. But there was sex, the kind of sex that has you looking up the wall thinking what in the world is going on? I don't have a lot of sex like this. First of all, we're friends and we met because I worked with his now ex-girlfriend, so you can see where the awkwardness is. So getting it going was strange. We always talk about how we use protection when we have sex, and it was surprising that we didn't use protection. Maybe that's because we are really good friends and I think it would be weird if we did use a condom. Actually now that I type that, it doesn't make sense, but I do know that I thought about it before hand and I did think it would be weird if he put on a condom. Judge me all you want, he's like my best friend and I also associate him as the male version of me.

But the condom thing was not why the sex was strange. He was on top. He slides in...wait, is it in? Oh, it is, but why can't I feel him? He was on top for about 2 minutes, he cums, he lays there, on top of me. During that two minutes, I looked at the ceiling thinking if him and my ex-friend ever get back together, I will always know she has to deal with that. This made me smile. Not cumming did not make me smile.

We stayed up until 3 in the morning. He felt bad that he didn't get me off and we had sex with me on top. Ahh...there's that penis. And I finished. Monday he worked and I drank. He came home and we drank. We went in the hot tub and then had sex...at night and Tuesday morning. Then we did the same thing Tuesday, and then Wednesday. Wednesday his friend came over and we both got SUPER wasted and fell down some stairs. My beautiful legs look I got into a fight. We're talking bruises, cuts, gashes. It's not looking pretty. On Thursday, his boss sent him home from work because he reeked of alcohol. Now he thinks he needs rehab. This is what happens when you party with me for 3 days straight. I feel a little responsible, but he's a big boy. He can make his own decisions right?

He called his mom. She's there with him now. Normally, we would talk everyday. We are barely talking. I hope he's not mad at me, like I made him drink. I mean we were planning on going to a live sex show and getting down. We can still do that right? Right? Oh no....

Crazy Dating Story

I submitted this story as my crazy dating story and I'm really not feeling like putting the past 3 days out on the internet yet, so I' m using what I sent. I have another story that involves my phone getting stolen by a guy but for now, crazy dating story #1.

After having my heart broken and five months of no sex, I decided it was really time to get into the game. Enter Mac. We met while out for a mutual friend's birthday party. He was cute, in the military and I was slightly needy. He seemed like such a nice guy and maybe after 5 months, I wasn't being as selective. In my drunk state, I even text messaged my dad saying I met the man I want to marry.

Fast forward a few weeks. I wake up next to him. This is like the 2nd time we have ever slept together. He is getting up to go golfing. I am lying in his bed. He's about to leave. He says, "Just so you know that gun right there is fully loaded. So if you try to mess around with it, it's loaded and it will go off."

I say, "Wait...I slept with a loaded gun by me the whole night."

He says, "Yeah. Alright I'm leaving." He is almost to the door. I'm already thinking he is a psycho, until...wait for it....

He turns around and says, "Your pussy's mine."

I've slept with this man twice and already he is staking claim on my pussy! Seriously, who says that and for once in my life I was literally speechless. What are you supposed to say to that?

I wish I would have said your dick is mine, but I found out that really his dick wasn't mine, and maybe that "your pussy's mine" line really works because while he was screwing everything with 2 legs, these girls were not.

On a side note, I found out that he shot some guy in the leg who tried to get into his girl's apartment. Guess there is one benefit to sleeping by a loaded gun :)