Getting Started

So my girlfriend and I originally started this blog as a way to talk with one another, and whoever else on the internet found themselves interested. It didn't work too well and so I am starting over with the same name because I need a way to express myself and know I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way. I'll eventually get to why I didn't save the older posts, but that has to do with He Who Shall Not Be Named and I'm not even ready to start with that. More on the back story of everything later, but first, here's the current situation.

I work in media in a position where if anyone knew I wrote this, could get me in a little bit of trouble. On top of this, I am sleeping with someone I work with. He used to date someone else at work, but she moved away although things with them aren't completly over. I really just view it as friends with benefits, but he has only slept with 3 people and I think he doesn't fully understand how things work. The other day he got really drunk and let me know that he really, really likes me which freaked me out a little, but not enough to stop sleeping with him. Sorry...the sex is way too good. Last night, we're going at it and he tells me he wants to be the best lay I've ever had. Instantly I think of the best lay I've had, which isn't him, but He Who Shall Not Be Named. Now, I have my co-worker's dick inside me, which already probably isn't the best idea, and I'm thinking about the one guy I haven't been able to get over (despite us only dating for 2 months and having not been together for almost a year). My head just wasn't mentally there so I told the co-worker that, minus the part about He Who Shall Not Be Named. I felt a little bad, but at the same time, shouldn't I not have sex with someone when I'm thinking about someone else? I'm thinking I made the right decision. So co-worker leaves soon for another job and I'm hoping all this ends up working out ok. But I guess I'll just have to wait and see.