Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Once Again

He Who Shall Not Be Named text messaged me AGAIN. Why does he do this to me? I'm not strong enough to be his occasional friend. He did this last time he moved somewhere too. Maybe he has few friends and thinks of me. Maybe he hangs on to me for the same reason I hang on to him. Maybe he doesn't give two shits about me and is bored. I really don't know and I am so tired of guessing. His birthday is next month. I really really really want to ask what he's doing and suggest we do something,besides the fact I live 600 miles away, but I can't. You know why I can't...besides the fact that in the past month we have only exchanged bodily fluids once (yeah, I went there) and 3 text messages, every girl he stops seeing longs for him. I don't want to be that girl. I want to be the one who moves on, says sayonara jackass, for so many reasons.

Today I was thinking about how one time at his house he tried to light these candles above the bed, which I almost called our bed (woah), and he was having trouble and he said, "Damn romance candles." I don't know why I thought about that, but for some reason, small things like that make me miss him. But he wasn't crazy about me, and I found out he was still talking to his ex, and I felt like I couldn't always be myself around him...I mean there's a laundry lists of reasons why I shouldn't still be thinking about him. You know, initially today I wanted to talk about cyber-stalking, but I think I'll save that for tomorrow.

Co-worker wants to go out tonight. This guy he knows wants to take him out for drinks because he is leaving soon and he invited me to go with him. This should be fun, expecially since co-worker gets jealous and this other guy is single. Nothing wrong with flirting, especially so co-worker understands this is sex only and nothing more. Leave the feelings at the door buddy!

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