Sunday, December 28, 2008

Famously Single did NOT get laid last night...what am I a chuch girl?

Last night Competition was a no show. Shouldn't men be all over a girl who wants to have sex all the time?

I have a lot of guy friends, mainly because they can talk to me about anything and because I like sex just as often as they do. I had no idea other girls did not feel this way. A marriage with no sex will never exist for me. It's too important, among other reasons I was committed to not being a virgin when I get married. Anyway, I was talking with one of my best guy friends and I was telling him my crazy stories and he said, "How are you single?"

Which brought me to an amazing realization. I am way more ready to get in the sheets, than get in a relationship. For some reason, this does not seem healthy. But I want amazing, and when it comes to a relationship, I want it all. Probably the main thing I miss is doing those little thoughtful things for your significant other. My mom always had cards under our pillows or would put little notes in the pocket of our pants. She is an incredibly thoughtful woman and I hope to be a wife like her when I grow up. Her and my step-dad have also been to a masterbating party in San Francisco so you can see where I get my sexual drive. I'll never forget being 13 and my mom telling me that sometimes sex gets boring, so if your husband asks you to do something, be a yes girl. Say yes!

I think the only reason I started thinking about this is because He Who Shall Not Be Named's birthday is tomorrow. When he left to check out the place he wanted to move to, I put a note in his luggage, so while he was there, he would know I cared about him. I wish I had more of an opportunity to do things like that for him, but we all know that wasn't the case. It doesn't matter anyway because he never got to experience the real uninhibited me and we only had sex in our beds. I'm sure that's reason enough not to miss him.

I'm sending an e-mail tomorrow for his birthday. That is it. My heart says it's the right thing to do. There are several times a month I want to just be with him, move to be with him, give up my career. And then I realize how ridiculous this is. And then I wish I was never on that story, that I would have never met him, and my heart would still be in one piece. Because once your heart is broken, I think you're terrified it could happen again. How I feel right now, I hope to not ever feel again.

And now New Year's Eve is fast approaching and I want 2009 to be amazing! And I'm also wondering will Competition or Co-worker be my NYE kiss? Or maybe someone new? Ahh...the excitement! Plus, Attached and his girlfriend are planning on spending NYE with me and my friends too. Seriously I say excitement, but maybe drama? 3 more days to find out!

Friday, December 26, 2008


What causes us to be attracted to certain people?

Competition and I allegedly had sex last night. I only know because he told me this morning, but otherwise I have no recollection of that! I also allegedly called him by a different name. Score one for Famously Single! Can I at least keep my men straight? I don't know what it is about Competition, but he's super funny and I'm almost drawn to him. He is charismatic. He calls it his "charm" and that makes him cute to me.

I think I have a thing for people's boyfriends. I have always been the girl that my friends feel uncomfortable hanging out with their boyfriends alone. I don't know why. I see men who are attached as safe and I can just be myself, expecially when I'm friends with their girlfriends. The other day, a co-workers boyfriend who we'll call Attached and I were going to go out for drinks. The co-worker is out of town so Attached is lonely. When he first e-mailed me about it, I swear I thought he had other friends here who he was intending on seeing and staying at their house. But when I realized it would be just me and him, I started thinking about him staying at my house and then I really badly wanted to fuck him. Some drunk text messages later, he pretty much knew what was up and declined.

I know right? Stand up guy because he didn't want to do that to his girlfriend. Even though, I knew it would be our little secret. Why am I attracted to him? I don't know. He's cute, but I know he's attached. But we've become pretty good friends over the whole ordeal and to avoid the rejection, I'm just going to tell myself that he knows he can't sleep with me because he'll want it BAD.

Have you ever had anyone you are attracted to, but don't know why? And why is one person cute to someone, but ugly to another?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Making out involves blow jobs and other rules you need to know

Funniest conversation last night with my male roommates about how everybody knows making out involves a blow jobs. The two guys said hand jobs and making out go hand in hand, but my rule is, guys can rub one out but they can't suck their own dick. Enter me.

Which goes along with my last post because me and Competition made out. You get what I'm saying right? I feel the only thing I need to say is we made out and you should just know that I sucked him off. Last night at the bar, my friend said that Competition told her boyfriend about us "making out" I never denied that I gave him a blow job, but I didn't confirm it either. I text him saying way to kiss and tell but he assumed I was going to tell my friend everything, which I obviously did because I said we made out. Shouldn't she just know?

This resulted in many more text messages about how horny I was and wanted to get together with him. I think I need to turn my phone off when I get drunk!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Pink Bathrobe

I have come to the realization that almost every man who sleeps in my room at one point wears my pink bathrobe. It's from Victoria's Secret and fits most very tight. You know, they have to get up to use the restroom, so rather than put their clothes on, they put on the robe.

I am trying so hard to remember the name of this book I read, a compilation of short stories, where the author talks about how guys she dated brought her my little ponies based on something she always says. I guess my pink bathrobe is sort of like that. Do you have something like that?

I brought home the Competition last night. On Friday night I went out and met up with some co-workers, along with a guy who works for a competing place. He got wasted and as they were dropping me off at my car, he said, "Let's go have sex." I, of course, said no and asked if that line really works? But ever since he said that, I sort of thought about it.

Then, randomly last night, I was out with a friend, who apparently knows Competition, and we hung out. And when I went to go to my car, he came too. There's something about him. He is cute, but his personality makes him cuter, and I guess we have sexual tension from times we have hung out before. I didn't have sex with him, as much as he begged me too. We just made out and this morning I dropped him off at his house. I called my friend to tell her, before her boyfriend could tell her how I was making out with him in the back of the car and she seemed almost disgusted. This can not be a good sign.

And I just got a text message from a guy who used to be a model with a seriously beautiful body, but typical model with not much upstairs. He's being deployed and he wants my e-mail address so we can stay in contact. Or because he wants me to send him dirty e-mails. Probably the latter :)

So there's my weekend. Planning on seeing 7 Pounds tomorrow...can't wait. Happy Hanukahh!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Are we letting men off easy with text messaging?

Last night, I went out with a female co-worker after work. I swore I wasn't going to drink until New Year's Eve, but you know what, I don't care. You're only young once, and besides, I wasn't planning on getting drunk. While we were out at the bar, I got a text message from down syndrome council member about going to breakfast. We must have text messaged back and forth about 20 times before firming up plans for lunch instead of breakfast. I happened to be out at a bar and couldn't really talk.

Actually, that's a lie. I could have gone outside to talk to him, but I had just met this nice guy who is a US Marshall, so I was chatting with him a little bit. I like text messaging, don't get me wrong. It's just talking on the phone is so much easier. I like getting that random text message that brightens my day, makes me smile, feel cared about. But if we are trying to discuss plans or someone really wants to get to know me, I appreciate the phone call. Better yet, I like the phone call that says I was just thinking about you, I want to see you. I'd much rather be talking in person if I have the opportunity.

Has technology made us socially awkward? Is it that much easier to use Facebook, Myspace, text messaging to communicate? Are we relying on being able to review what we say before we say it, because that is impossible to do when communicating on the phone or in person? We can script what we want to say, because that calms our nerves a little. I worry for the generations after us.

The US Marshall said something about having a hard time meeting people. I completly disagree. If I see people I think look interesting ( guys) I have no problem going up to them and talking to them. I have the ability to still use the technology to communicate, yet I don't rely on it. I'm concerned for the people who feel the need to rely on it.

Friday, December 19, 2008

My friend wants to go to rehab and other things that happen when you drink with me

Ok, so after work on Sunday I drove to Comic's house in beautiful San Diego, or so I thought, because I got snowed in on Wednesday and ended up staying another night. Anyway, Sunday night there was no drinking because I got there at like midnight. But there was sex, the kind of sex that has you looking up the wall thinking what in the world is going on? I don't have a lot of sex like this. First of all, we're friends and we met because I worked with his now ex-girlfriend, so you can see where the awkwardness is. So getting it going was strange. We always talk about how we use protection when we have sex, and it was surprising that we didn't use protection. Maybe that's because we are really good friends and I think it would be weird if we did use a condom. Actually now that I type that, it doesn't make sense, but I do know that I thought about it before hand and I did think it would be weird if he put on a condom. Judge me all you want, he's like my best friend and I also associate him as the male version of me.

But the condom thing was not why the sex was strange. He was on top. He slides in...wait, is it in? Oh, it is, but why can't I feel him? He was on top for about 2 minutes, he cums, he lays there, on top of me. During that two minutes, I looked at the ceiling thinking if him and my ex-friend ever get back together, I will always know she has to deal with that. This made me smile. Not cumming did not make me smile.

We stayed up until 3 in the morning. He felt bad that he didn't get me off and we had sex with me on top. Ahh...there's that penis. And I finished. Monday he worked and I drank. He came home and we drank. We went in the hot tub and then had night and Tuesday morning. Then we did the same thing Tuesday, and then Wednesday. Wednesday his friend came over and we both got SUPER wasted and fell down some stairs. My beautiful legs look I got into a fight. We're talking bruises, cuts, gashes. It's not looking pretty. On Thursday, his boss sent him home from work because he reeked of alcohol. Now he thinks he needs rehab. This is what happens when you party with me for 3 days straight. I feel a little responsible, but he's a big boy. He can make his own decisions right?

He called his mom. She's there with him now. Normally, we would talk everyday. We are barely talking. I hope he's not mad at me, like I made him drink. I mean we were planning on going to a live sex show and getting down. We can still do that right? Right? Oh no....

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Crazy Dating Story

I submitted this story as my crazy dating story and I'm really not feeling like putting the past 3 days out on the internet yet, so I' m using what I sent. I have another story that involves my phone getting stolen by a guy but for now, crazy dating story #1.

After having my heart broken and five months of no sex, I decided it was really time to get into the game. Enter Mac. We met while out for a mutual friend's birthday party. He was cute, in the military and I was slightly needy. He seemed like such a nice guy and maybe after 5 months, I wasn't being as selective. In my drunk state, I even text messaged my dad saying I met the man I want to marry.

Fast forward a few weeks. I wake up next to him. This is like the 2nd time we have ever slept together. He is getting up to go golfing. I am lying in his bed. He's about to leave. He says, "Just so you know that gun right there is fully loaded. So if you try to mess around with it, it's loaded and it will go off."

I say, "Wait...I slept with a loaded gun by me the whole night."

He says, "Yeah. Alright I'm leaving." He is almost to the door. I'm already thinking he is a psycho, until...wait for it....

He turns around and says, "Your pussy's mine."

I've slept with this man twice and already he is staking claim on my pussy! Seriously, who says that and for once in my life I was literally speechless. What are you supposed to say to that?

I wish I would have said your dick is mine, but I found out that really his dick wasn't mine, and maybe that "your pussy's mine" line really works because while he was screwing everything with 2 legs, these girls were not.

On a side note, I found out that he shot some guy in the leg who tried to get into his girl's apartment. Guess there is one benefit to sleeping by a loaded gun :)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Friends With Benefits

I have seen numerous people post about this and I'm having a realization of my own and thought I would contribute.

Everyone wants friends with benefits to work out. The thing I like about having a friend you fool around with is it's comfortable. And I guess in the case of Co-worker, it's sort of scandalous. But I think I might be developing feelings for Co-worker. Not feelings like I wish he were my boyfriend, because trust me when I say this, he annoys me to no end on numerous occasions. I just like to feel like I'm number one, and when you're friends with benefits, you are always looking for something else out there. Now, my ex-friends boyfriend, I need a name for about Comic, because he is super funny. Comic and I live almost 3 hours away from one another and I know he would not be the kind of boyfriend I would want, but I have fun with him and I feel really happy with him. So what if we have chemistry and fool around? I know it isn't going anywhere and so does he.

But why does friends with benefits leave me a little sad, wanting more? I think with Comic I am fine with it because we openly talk about his ex-girlfriend and I know where his head is at. Plus we are like best friends. We talk every day. I know he cares about me for more than just sex. Co-worker on the other hand tries to hide everything, with his ex-girlfriends or maybe current girlfriends who knows? And I think that is where the friends with benefits is getting messed up. Everyday I feel conflicted about Co-worker, but at the end of the day, I find it hard to quit. It's safe, it's fun, and it's consistant. Why use my hand when I can use Co-worker? I don't think friends with benefits will ever be solved, at least not by me. With one person it works, with another, it doesn't. And maybe I'm too deep into it with Co-worker to step back and see if it's working or not. I just know the sex is great, but I hate that sometimes he is shady about where he's going for the weekend or what the real situation is with the other women in his life.

Totally of my favorite blogs has the best idea and I can't wait to participate. She is asking for bloggers to submit stories, and since I'm single, it will be about one of my craziest dating stories ever. experience :) I can't wait to share because it's actually crazy dating stories that made me want to do this blog. You'll have to check it out over there to see other people's horror stories. It will hopefully make us all feel a little better about our stories!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Cyber Stalking

How horrible is it that I look up He Who Shall Not Be Named on Myspace to see if maybe it won't be private for some odd reason, or if maybe his status update will say something different?

The internet makes it to soo easy to cyber stalk and I both love and hate it.

That's all for now...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I just did something amazing

I had sex in a place you shouldn''s a place you spend let's say about 40 hours a week at. That's all I'm saying about that.

On to the topic at hand: going down on a girl, licking here pussy, head, cunnilingus, whatever you want to call it

My first boyfriend wasn't that into it. I believe he even made a comment about fish. My second boyfriend was fine with it, but first boyfriend made me feel so uncomfortable that we rarely did it. He Who Shall Not Be Named wanted me to ride his face. He was into it. He wanted to do it all the time. Co-worker has never done it, maybe once. He actually said to me that he only likes to go down on a girl after she has just showered or is in the shower. What the hell is that about? When I'm giving head, I like to do it like I need the dick to breathe. Is that too much to ask, I mean seriously!

Ok now listen, I know pussys have a smell. I masterbate like 3 times a day. I know what I taste like, what I smell like. Is it really that bad? Help me out here!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I can't think of a title

Well, well, well. If you read through the entire last post, thank you. If not, I understand. That was a long one!

I feel as though there are a lot of updates to get to...let's start things off with Co-worker. When we last left off, Co-worker had his girlfriend in town, even though in his mind they are not together. I told other co-workers that Co-worker and I were sleeping together and in my drunken state, wanted to tell his girlfriend we were sleeping together. Not a smart move...thank goodness I didn't. Co-worker called on Wednesday to see if I wanted to come over. I politely declined. On Thursday, Co-worker sent a text about The Office being on that night. I text him back saying don't try and lure me to your house with tv shows. I already told you if you sleep with girlfriend, we can not sleep together. He text back get over yourself. He won an award at the Christmas party. I text him to let him know last night. We continued to text back and forth and I have a feeling I will sleep with him again, which is of course, a horrible idea! But hey, sometimes a girl needs some loving right?

He Who Shall Not Be Named has cooled it with the text messaging. His birthday is in 3 weeks. I want to e-mail, but don't know if I should.

Last night I met a new guy. Let me preface this by saying that in the town I live in there's about 20 to 1 ratio of guys to girls. You would think this would be amazing which it can be in the free drink department, but there are really a lot of scum bags too. I started talking to a guy who I thought his name was Justin, but apparently it's Travis. Oops! Well he knows and I think works with 2 other scum bags I dated/slept with. This could be bad, but we'll see.

Hung out with my ex-friend's ex-boyfriend for a few days...following that? There is something about being a we instead of me that is so much better and I want that and I guess I feel a little lonely. I also watched Grey's Anatomy this morning and it made me cry. Something about Alex confessing his love made me feel lonely. I guess I just have to assume that the perfect guy is out there for me. In other news, I did rock the hottest dress to the holiday party! You know you can't get a picture but maybe if you e-mail me, we can be like facebook friends or something :)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Hard One

This is the post I've been dreading...the story of He Who Shall Not Be Named, but I feel like to not tell it is to undo this entire blog, because he's kinda the whole thing that brought it on. If I ever write some chick lit, I'm dedicating it to him, the man who made me think my stories were deserving of a book :)

We met on a story. I was the new reporter. He was the hot photographer. We talked about how boring it is in our town. He pulled out a pen and paper, gave me his number and said we should hang out. I freaked out in the car and called my friend to ask why she never told me he was single. Apparently she didn't know which meant it was a new break-up. But why should I care about this...this man was hot, I was in a new town and so it began. I texted him the next day about his photos. He said he was going out of town for Christmas but we should get together when he got back. And we did. We met up at a bar with some other people I was with. It was awkward, it was fun, and I couldn't wait to do it again.

So we did and then one weekend, my friend came to visit me. And I hadn't slept with him yet, but I wanted to, and she approved of him and so he went home with me. I was drunk but it was awkward, it was fun, and I couldn't wait to do it again.

So we did, the next night and we started hanging out and there was something about him that just got me, even though I couldn't 100 % be myself around him. I wanted to be the girl he wanted, instead of just the girl I am, because I was so amazed that this guy was with me. It took about a month before the ex-girlfriend was brought up, when I found out that she went with him to Christmas at his family's house and they were together for 4 years. He moved for her, they lived together in "our" town. And then he got a photography job somewhere else and he moved. On the day he left, I looked at his phone while he was in the shower.

I don't know why I did it, but I think that when you have to look, you know you are going to find something. And find something I did...text sent to his ex: Every day I wake up with an emptiness and a loneliness that only you can fulfill and I both love and hate you for it. And no, I don't feel embaressed that I know exactly what it says word for word. The text was sent the night before. I couldn't believe it. I had no idea he had such emptiness and loneliness. I had no idea he had so much emotions because he certainly didn't show that to me. I had finally, after years of dating, had my heart broken.

He left, and I thought I would never hear from him again. But he called that night and then proceeded to keep calling, e-mailing, texting. It felt nice, like he really cared, even if it was very sporadic. I was confused why he was doing this. Why keep me around when you still aren't over your ex and we are seperated by thousands of miles? I sent him an e-mail confessing that I looked at his text messages while he was in the shower the day he left. I tried to end it funny by saying that the Professor said if our relationship was so great, wouldn't I have been in the shower with him? He could have called. He could have e-mailed back. Instead, he text messaged me like 5 days later: Just checked my e-mail. Don't know what to say. I guess that comes with the 4-year relationship territory. Hope you're well. I didn't respond. There was no need and I thought that was it.

Fast forward 2 weeks later. I'm visiting a friend in L.A. I have just finished talking about how everytime I order a vodka 7 I think of him because he was the one who thought I would like that drink. I get a text message: So are we no longer friends? :( I don't know what to do. Do I respond? Do I leave it alone? Do I keep reading it, wondering if this is real? Or do I do none of the above because he calls me and we proceed to talk for 2 hours even though it is like 2 in the morning his time and I'm pretty sure he is wasted? Ding, ding, ding.

We continue our sporadic conversations for a few more weeks, but then I have called twice and told him about my promotion, and he hasn't called me. We don't talk for many, many months, possibly 6 maybe more. Last month, he myspace messages my boss and says he is coming in to town, driving through town because he quit his job and is moving somewhere else. Asks for her to give me his number and see about drinks. Drinks lead to me in his hotel, which leads to him not calling me for another month, which leads to the random texts. This leads me to delete his number from my phone. It's too hard. His birthday is this month. I want to send an e-mail that only says Happy Birthday. Am I crazy? Seriously, we dated for 2 months. It's not like this was a long drawn-out love affair? And do you ever wish you had never met maybe if I wasn't on that story, I never would have met him and my heart would not be broken, or is this healthy?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

An "Oh No" Moment

Last night I got together for drinks with many co-workers, including the Co-worker and his girlfriend. It is here that I found out I wanted to tell girlfriend about me sleeping with Co-worker. Wow! How drunk was I? I also sent many text messages and calls randomly. I feel a little embarassed :(

But seeing Co-worker with his girlfriend wasn't awkward even though maybe it should have been. Is it ok to fuck someone with no feelings involved, because I am seeing a little bit of a pattern of this? I'm even a little embarassed that people know we slept together, which is not a good feeling.

In other news, a city council member asked for my phone number last night. Now listen, I might be interested in someone in city council, say if they looked like Gavin Newsom! But I'm the kind of girl that would be with a city council member who picked up prostitutes on the side, is caught going to a masterbation party, and cheats on his wife. I would not be with a council member who is on the straight and narrow, trying to make a name for himself in politics, beside the fact that his picture on the city website makes him look like he has down syndrome. So there's where my love life is at the moment...the down syndrome looking city council member is hitting on me, Co-worker and I are so over, and my heart still beats for He Who Shall Not Be Named.

Although on a random note, I had to call to get the website fixed for work, and I always talk to the same tech guy so I told him we should be Facebook friends. He said we shouldn't be talking about that at the moment, but he would e-mail me later. Just got the e-mail. I'll keep you posted on if he's cute or not :)

And while you're waiting for the He Who Shall Not Be Named post that has been in draft for a week now, check out this website.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

What did I do?

All day today I have been crazy sick and it's all my fault because I got wasted last night. The long islands were on sale for $3 and my bill was $50...enough said. Well in my drunken stupor I decide to text Co-worker because I haven't heard from him and I have a feeling his girlfriend is in town, but I want him to tell me that.

So I text him about us hooking up, which looking back on it really puts all the power in his hands, so great job in not being an independent woman. He calls me. I call him back. He asks me if I listened to my voicemail. I say no and he tells me to listen to that and then call him back, which why couldn't he just tell me. And the answer is: yes girlfriend ex-coworker is in town, and today she sent me a text message inviting everyone to go out. And even though I am feeling sick I think I'm going to go! So wish me luck.

Oh and the what did I do? I told two co-workers I'm fucking Co-worker. I'm scared about what could happen at work now...

And I took the advice and did not e-mail Professor!