Last night Competition was a no show. Shouldn't men be all over a girl who wants to have sex all the time?
I have a lot of guy friends, mainly because they can talk to me about anything and because I like sex just as often as they do. I had no idea other girls did not feel this way. A marriage with no sex will never exist for me. It's too important, among other reasons I was committed to not being a virgin when I get married. Anyway, I was talking with one of my best guy friends and I was telling him my crazy stories and he said, "How are you single?"
Which brought me to an amazing realization. I am way more ready to get in the sheets, than get in a relationship. For some reason, this does not seem healthy. But I want amazing, and when it comes to a relationship, I want it all. Probably the main thing I miss is doing those little thoughtful things for your significant other. My mom always had cards under our pillows or would put little notes in the pocket of our pants. She is an incredibly thoughtful woman and I hope to be a wife like her when I grow up. Her and my step-dad have also been to a masterbating party in San Francisco so you can see where I get my sexual drive. I'll never forget being 13 and my mom telling me that sometimes sex gets boring, so if your husband asks you to do something, be a yes girl. Say yes!
I think the only reason I started thinking about this is because He Who Shall Not Be Named's birthday is tomorrow. When he left to check out the place he wanted to move to, I put a note in his luggage, so while he was there, he would know I cared about him. I wish I had more of an opportunity to do things like that for him, but we all know that wasn't the case. It doesn't matter anyway because he never got to experience the real uninhibited me and we only had sex in our beds. I'm sure that's reason enough not to miss him.
I'm sending an e-mail tomorrow for his birthday. That is it. My heart says it's the right thing to do. There are several times a month I want to just be with him, move to be with him, give up my career. And then I realize how ridiculous this is. And then I wish I was never on that story, that I would have never met him, and my heart would still be in one piece. Because once your heart is broken, I think you're terrified it could happen again. How I feel right now, I hope to not ever feel again.
And now New Year's Eve is fast approaching and I want 2009 to be amazing! And I'm also wondering will Competition or Co-worker be my NYE kiss? Or maybe someone new? Ahh...the excitement! Plus, Attached and his girlfriend are planning on spending NYE with me and my friends too. Seriously I say excitement, but maybe drama? 3 more days to find out!
6 years ago