Thursday, December 18, 2008

Crazy Dating Story

I submitted this story as my crazy dating story and I'm really not feeling like putting the past 3 days out on the internet yet, so I' m using what I sent. I have another story that involves my phone getting stolen by a guy but for now, crazy dating story #1.

After having my heart broken and five months of no sex, I decided it was really time to get into the game. Enter Mac. We met while out for a mutual friend's birthday party. He was cute, in the military and I was slightly needy. He seemed like such a nice guy and maybe after 5 months, I wasn't being as selective. In my drunk state, I even text messaged my dad saying I met the man I want to marry.

Fast forward a few weeks. I wake up next to him. This is like the 2nd time we have ever slept together. He is getting up to go golfing. I am lying in his bed. He's about to leave. He says, "Just so you know that gun right there is fully loaded. So if you try to mess around with it, it's loaded and it will go off."

I say, "Wait...I slept with a loaded gun by me the whole night."

He says, "Yeah. Alright I'm leaving." He is almost to the door. I'm already thinking he is a psycho, until...wait for it....

He turns around and says, "Your pussy's mine."

I've slept with this man twice and already he is staking claim on my pussy! Seriously, who says that and for once in my life I was literally speechless. What are you supposed to say to that?

I wish I would have said your dick is mine, but I found out that really his dick wasn't mine, and maybe that "your pussy's mine" line really works because while he was screwing everything with 2 legs, these girls were not.

On a side note, I found out that he shot some guy in the leg who tried to get into his girl's apartment. Guess there is one benefit to sleeping by a loaded gun :)

3 comments:

Sparks said...

~~I'm already thinking he is a psycho, until...wait for it....
He turns around and says, "Your pussy's mine."~~

LAUGHING MY ASS OFF !!! THAT IS HYSTERICAL!!!

on a serious note, though, i just found out a guy i'm seeing keeps a loaded gun by his bed too. i was surprised how much it shook me up to hear that. how many times have i slept soundly next to a deadly weapon and didn't know it? i guess it's not a big deal. he has it secured and knows how to use it properly and such, but it's just... disturbing, somehow.

Sparks said...

p.s. i hope she uses your story. i submitted "the underwear thief"

d said...

UM who the hell talks like that?! What a psycho!